Saturday, April 14, 2007


I am having a hard time concentrating, on anything.
I have already knit on four different things today. I have many other things that are calling me to knit on them. I can't settle, I know why, and if the past two weeks is what I will be like until what is distracting me is over, then I have another very long month ahead of me.

We got a date for Katherine's eye surgery.
I have had a long time to prepare for this, but I can't shake it, the feeling of dread follows me everywhere. I thought it was the thought of her having an eye surgery, someone cutting her eye muscles. While that thought does bring up the bile, it is not the thing I finally came to realise that is bothering me.

It's the anesthesia. My baby doll, under a general, lifeless, limp, my little 4 year old sweetheart. The thing that brings light into my life.

I can barely stand it.

I cry on command.

Not gushing, just a trickle.

I know it is only eye surgery, a very simple little procedure. Many other younger children have gone through so much more, we have seen some of that on our trips to the Sick Kids hospital in Toronto. This is still my little baby though. She remains unfazed.

Needless to say there really isn't lots of progress on anything, but little on lots.
Princess waddles along at a snails pace. My entrelac socks are almost done. I started a pair of socks for Katherine in Austermanns step with Aloe. I still have to think of a special something for her for recuperation time, I am thinking of tarting up a topsy turnabout doll
for her doing it in Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty colours . I have done a lot of spinning and dyeing too.

I have also been suffering with the allergies again, I encountered a mouldy garbage bag at the guild hall, it got worse each day and it was after spending a total of about 14 hours there that I figured out what it was that was bothering me so much, I have had sore dry eyes, headaches and fatigue all week. I hope that the removal of the bag will improve things there for me as I have to go back on tuesday for 3 hours.


Kate said...

Yep, there's just no distraction when your baby's heading for a general. I was a theatre nurse for a little bit and, although it probably doesn't do much to help you at the moment, we care for kids like precious crystal while they're under. The recuperation knitting may not be terribly successful as a distraction but it's better than going to totally spare. I hope that the wait isn't going to be too long and that all is successful.

Anonymous said...

I am keeping your daughter and the doctors who care for her, and you, in my prayers.

Kathy said...

See now you made me cry!!!LOL.
Thank you both for your caring words, and Kate how wonderful to hear a theatre nurse say that, it relieves me no end, thank you.

Jason said...

Will send positive thoughts to Katherine and you during my reflections. Be well Kathy. Think positive.

Jane said...

Of course you have other things to think about! Nothing is more important than your child. Just find some comfort knitting and take a break. I also have times when my allergys make it difficult to impossible to knit. It's just one of those "life interferes with art" type of things. I will pray that the surjury goes well and her recovery will be swift. Good Luck!